FAMILIES // Navigating Legal Pathways to Parenthood in the UK and Beyond
As modern family structures evolve, the legal landscape struggles to keep pace. In this insightful exploration, family law Partner Amy Rowe of Hunters Law shares essential guidance on navigating the legal, emotional, and practical realities of alternative paths to parenthood—from co-parenting and donor conception to surrogacy in the UK and abroad. Drawing on both her professional expertise and her own IVF journey, Rowe offers clarity, compassion, and critical advice for anyone considering building a family outside traditional norms. A must-read for prospective parents, legal professionals, and anyone interested in the future of family.
When Amy Rowe first stepped into a family law seat during her legal training, she hadn’t anticipated that this “happy accident” would lead to a vocation grounded in both professional rigour and deep personal empathy. Now a partner at Hunter Law LLP and a mother of two children conceived through IVF, Rowe occupies a unique space—one where legal precision meets lived experience.
“I understand that longing to become a parent,” she reflects. “And the challenges that come with it. It’s a privilege to help people navigate a journey I’ve also walked.”
Today, she supports clients through the complex and often emotionally charged terrain of building families outside traditional norms—via co-parenting, donor conception, and surrogacy, both at home in the UK and across borders.
Laying the Legal Foundations: Co-Parenting with Clarity
Co-parenting outside of a romantic relationship is increasingly common—but fraught with potential misunderstandings if not carefully structured. Whether between friends, acquaintances, or community connections, Rowe insists that clarity must come before conception.
The most common disputes, she says, arise from mismatched expectations—not malice, but misalignment. Conversations about parenting philosophies, time-sharing, finances, future partners, even dietary preferences and screen time, are essential. And while pre-conception agreements aren’t legally binding in the UK, they remain crucial tools to set intentions, stimulate honest dialogue, and document plans that courts may later consider.
“If you're planning to raise a child together,” Rowe says, “these aren’t just legal discussions—they’re human ones. It’s about taking the time to really understand who you're stepping into parenthood with.”
As children grow, their own views increasingly shape the legal process. Rowe explains that courts apply a “welfare checklist” that includes the child’s wishes and feelings, especially for children over five. Tools like child-inclusive mediation or reports from CAFCASS officers ensure the child is meaningfully heard. While their views are not determinative, in practice, older children—especially teenagers—often hold substantial sway in outcomes.
Surrogacy in the UK: A System in Need of Reform
Of all the modern pathways to parenthood, surrogacy remains the most legally tangled. Despite its increasing prevalence, UK law still designates the surrogate as the child’s legal parent at birth—even if she has no genetic link to the baby. If she is married, her spouse is automatically recorded as the second parent.
This outdated framework creates significant uncertainty for intended parents, who must wait at least six weeks after birth to begin the legal process of obtaining a Parental Order—the only mechanism that transfers legal parentage to them.
The requirements are strict. At least one intended parent must be genetically related to the child. The surrogate must not be one of the intended parents. The application must be made within six months. No commercial payments are permitted—only “reasonable expenses.”
To become the child’s legal parents, intended parents must apply for a Parental Order, which legally transfers parenthood and extinguishes the rights of the surrogate and any spouse. This process cannot begin until six weeks after birth—allowing for a mandatory cooling-off period to ensure free and informed consent from the surrogate. The process typically takes 6 to 12 months and includes court hearings, legal statements, safeguarding checks, and a CAFCASS report assessing the child’s best interests.
To obtain a Parental Order, several legal conditions must be met:
At least one intended parent must be genetically related to the child.
The surrogate must not be one of the intended parents.
The application must be submitted within six months of birth (though extensions are sometimes granted).
At least one intended parent must be domiciled in England.
Only reasonable expenses can be paid—commercial surrogacy remains illegal in the UK, although courts take a pragmatic approach if overseas arrangements are involved.
The system, Rowe notes, often causes significant stress, and underscores the need for thorough legal preparation and early guidance.
The process, says Rowe, typically takes 6 to 12 months, and although courts have become more pragmatic—especially when international commercial arrangements are involved—the emotional toll can be significant.
“This isn’t just legal admin,” she explains. “These are people who’ve longed to be parents, finally holding their baby, but still not recognised as legal parents. That legal limbo is exhausting.”
Cross-Border Surrogacy: Greater Certainty, But New Complexities
In search of more predictable outcomes, many UK citizens pursue surrogacy abroad—particularly in the United States, where commercial arrangements are legal and intended parents can gain legal recognition from birth.
Countries like Ukraine and Georgia have also seen a rise in international surrogacy, but these options are not open to everyone. The US remains a more inclusive jurisdiction, accommodating same-sex couples and solo parents.
Many individuals or couples pursue international clinics to access features like donor exclusivity, which is not guaranteed under UK law. Rowe urges rigorous due diligence when considering this route.
Key areas for consideration include:
Parentage laws, which vary by jurisdiction
Anonymity laws and access to genetic information
Import/export regulations for gametes
Screening and ethical standards at clinics
Transparency around cost structures
Ethics remain paramount. In jurisdictions where financial coercion may influence donation, it is essential that informed consent is fully understood and respected.
Still, Rowe urges caution. “Too many people overlook immigration,” she warns. “Just because you're British, and your gametes were used, doesn’t mean your child automatically gets a UK passport or legal status. You need parallel legal advice—on family law and immigration—before you even begin.”
Even if the child is recognised as legally yours abroad, the UK still requires a parental order for legal parenthood to be acknowledged at home. Rowe has seen families caught unaware—years after their child was born—realising they aren’t legally recognised in the eyes of UK law.
Donor Conception: The Known vs. The Anonymous
The use of sperm or egg donors brings its own set of legal nuances. Known donors, particularly when involved informally outside a clinic, risk becoming legal parents unintentionally—complete with financial and parental responsibilities. Conversely, donors through UK-licensed clinics, with the right consents in place, are not legal parents and carry no obligations.
In the UK, the method of conception is critical:
A known donor via sexual intercourse is automatically the child’s legal parent.
In artificial insemination, the legal parent depends on the mother’s marital status and consent protocols.
If using a UK-licensed clinic with correct paperwork, a known donor can avoid legal parentage and responsibility.
Anonymous donors from a clinic are never legal parents and cannot be named on the birth certificate. However, Rowe notes a crucial legal shift: truly anonymous donation is no longer possible in the UK. At age 18, donor-conceived children have the legal right to identify their donor, although this remains a one-way route—donors cannot initiate contact.
This evolving openness is, for Rowe, a cultural and ethical imperative. “These children have a right to understand where they come from. The legal framework should support that with care and integrity.”
For those undergoing IVF—either privately or through donor gametes—legal parentage again hinges on marital status, consent forms, and clinic compliance. A known donor’s legal status can vary significantly depending on how and where conception takes place, making clinic-based treatment with correct documentation the safest legal route for all parties.
Rowe encourages early, clear conversations and due diligence when considering donors—especially when known donors or friends are involved—and highlights the importance of distinguishing between emotional intent and legal outcome. Parenting agreements or pre-conception documents are not binding, but can be helpful records that courts consider in disputes.
Top Tips for Anyone Beginning the Journey
For those exploring alternative paths to parenthood, Rowe offers practical and thoughtful advice:
Get early legal advice. It’s easier to shape things well from the start than to unpick problems later.
Choose reputable clinics and platforms. Proper procedures and documentation protect everyone involved.
Join communities. Lived experience from others can be as powerful as professional advice.
Be honest about expectations. Whether co-parenting or using a known donor, clarity now avoids pain later.
Don’t neglect emotional readiness. Therapy or counselling with fertility expertise can help manage the mental load.
Resources and Networks Worth Knowing
Rowe points to a range of trusted organisations supporting families on this journey:
Surrogacy UK, Brilliant Beginnings, My Surrogacy Journey – support for intended parents and surrogates.
Donor Conception Network – guidance and community for donor-conceived families.
British Infertility Counselling Association (BICA) – directory of specialist fertility counsellors.
Fertility Network UK – webinars, helplines and emotional support.
Pride Angel – platform connecting those seeking known donors or co-parents.
Zita West Clinic – a holistic fertility clinic integrating physical, mental and emotional health.
Rowe herself credits the Zita West Clinic for her own IVF journey. “Their approach is truly holistic,” she says, “and that matters—because fertility is never just physical.”
What the Future Might Hold
Looking ahead, Rowe sees the need for urgent legal reform—particularly in the surrogacy arena. The Law Commission has proposed that intended parents should be recognised as legal parents from birth. What’s needed now is the political will to implement it.
She also hopes for broader changes: the legal possibility of recognising more than two parents in some co-parenting families, more inclusive fertility workplace policies, and financial support for those pursuing alternative family-building options.
Culturally, she’s optimistic. “We’re seeing real progress,” she reflects. “There’s less stigma now around solo parenting, donors, or surrogacy. I hope the next decade brings even more acceptance, more accessibility, and most of all, celebration of different kinds of families.”
Because at the end of the day, as Rowe reminds us, “Love is love. And the desire to create family—however that looks—is something we all understand.”
